WHY YOU SHOULD CARE LESS
Relationships are interesting when you really think about it. It's crazy to think how you can vibe with certain people and totally not get along with others. Whether it's family, friends, coworkers, bosses, clients or lovers, do you ever ask yourself who is in control?
Over the past few years, I’ve worked in the marketing industry and I've worked directly with a lot of talented people and successful brands. I’ve come to really enjoy the responsibilities that come with the jobs I've had but I don't always enjoy the work I'm doing or the people I have to work with. It’s an incredible feeling when someone says something nice about your work and acknowledges the thought that went into it. But I've learned that you can’t satisfy everyone. There are people who only want to argue with you because they have different agendas. The ones who are only nice to you when they need something from you. Or the ones who can't give direction and get upset when you're not able to read their mind. Because of this I've found myself in a fair share of disagreements with coworkers and situations where I get really worked up at times because I see a better way of doing things.
When I feel like this, I realize it’s because I care too much.
I care about my career and the people I work with. I care what people say about me and most importantly I care about the work. I take pride in being able to help people solve their problems. If someone disagrees with a point of view, it’s my job to address it and listen. To try to understand why, so I can improve the work and the relationship.
But when your bosses, the leaders you're supposed to look up to, say things that make you feel like your opinion doesn't matter, I take it personally. There have been times where I've pushed back but and I've opened up on how I feel about certain issues. I get the perception that they listened but they didn't because nothing ever changes.
Why do I do this to myself? Again, It’s because I care too much.
I look at everything as a relationship and in any relationship, there is going to be one person that cares more than the other. The person who cares the most is usually dealing with the most anxiety. This person is pushing for finding a middle ground and they’re the one that's more invested in making the relationship work. If the other person is not, the person who really cares feels hopeless which leads to the anxiety.
When you start looking at your work life as a relationship, you realize that when you care too much about something, you're in fact putting the other person in control of the relationship. You have to have thick skin and know who you're dealing with. Oftentimes it's better to just let things go.
It's weird to say, but you have to care less. Not more.
Figure out what's most important to you and put all your energy into those things because if everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. If you get worked up and care too much about what others say or do, you’re putting that person in control by giving your energy away.
That’s what they want, the control. Don’t let them have it because they don’t deserve it.